I had tried my best to ignore recent conversations about #missionbeautiful on Twitter. Why? Not just because I have anti-social tendencies, but also because I just don't want to go there most days. Tearing myself down has just become such a terrible habit now that I don't often realize I am doing it. During a Twitter chat about the woes of post-pregnancy pounds there was a kind reminder directed at me and my twitter friend.
@mommymomentblog U ARE BEAUTIFUL #missionbeautiful / RT @anonymous @superstargrace Strange how I'm still fat btwn toddler who nurses all day&starvation (14 Apr)
My Bedroom Closet
This friendly nudge a few days ago made me think of all the times I treat myself with less kindness than I would treat an enemy. I thanked @mommymomentblog for her kindness, and traveled to the site to see what #missionbeautiful was all about. The first week's challenge for #missionbeautiful was to focus on one thing that makes you beautiful...I skipped that part. Again, I just didn't want to go there. Curiosity got the best of me a few days later and I read the second challenge posted by Mommy Moment Jody. She encouraged the reader to post a sticky note with a smiley face. It was meant to be a reminder to smile and be positive as soon as you wake up. I decided to try it. I felt really silly the first day, I have to admit. Smiling at myself got easier by day three, and it does help set a better mood for the start of the day. This is a recent Comment I posted in response to the #Missionbeautiful conversation on the Mommy Moment site:
One of my motto's: What you believe, will be your reality. And no I’m not talking about wishing to win the lottery, and it magically happening because you willed it. I think that the running dialogue in your head will have a direct effect on how you live. So, if you have negative thoughts about yourself on a regular basis, you will treat yourself negatively….I have done the sticky note challenge and it has become a reminder to think positive thoughts about myself. Usually if someone compliments my appearance I shrug it off and offer a few reasons why their compliment couldn’t possibly be true. I encountered this situation yesterday at church, I said “Thank-you for your kindness” and left it at that. I still don’t feel beautiful, but I really want to stop spreading negativity to people that are just trying to be kind. I also have a 19 month old daughter who repeats everything we say and do. That has given me a BIG wake-up call to be a better, more positive, role-model. Setting goals to participate in #missionbeautiful is a good start to changing a lifetime of self-depreciation. *SMILE*
As I read the comment aloud to myself before sending it into cyberspace, I soon realized that I don't LIVE a lot of the concepts I BELIEVE. Fancy thoughts and theories are useless if I don't find practical ways to apply them to everyday life. Taking part in Mission Beautiful doesn't need to be mission impossible. These exercises that seemed silly to me at first, have given me permission to stop and think about who I am, what I believe, and how I want the world to know me. That includes blazing a trail for my daughter. I must find a way to carry on with #missionbeautiful even though the UGLIES want to take over. I pray that she learns to love and hold herself in high-esteem. Even when the world threatens to break her heart for not looking, sounding, acting like everyone else. I can't expect anyone else to teach her that kind of STRENGTH, GRACE, or BEAUTY.
*Update after post: correct Twitter name of Mommy Moment is @mommymomentblog, not @mommymoment